Continuing with my story, my song Insanity stems from years of depression. From the time I was five I would ask God to take my life so I could be with Him instead of here on earth. So young and hurt so bad I wanted to die. These feelings and thoughts continued for 25 years off and on I struggled with severe depression. The first verse in Insanity touches on this struggle beginning at such a young age.
The choruses in this song stem from my ongoing prayer to Him and it is also taken from the Psalms. So many times I felt like I was going insane. I couldn’t control my thought process or find joy in life when I should have had so much. All I wanted to be was sane, thus “make me sound”.
I got to a place where I just lived life and hid my depression very well. Which I discuss in my second verse I was able to get through the days with a fake facade, but inside I was screaming for Him to save me. Thus the bridge. I knew that God had the power to heal me…I just kept screaming for Him to take it.
The third verse touches on all the worldly helps I tried through the years to snap me out of the depression. There are so many things out there that claim to cure depression but nothing worked I was still so lost. My mind continued to betray what I wanted…sanity.
The outro of Insanity touches on His healing. At thirty-one after over 25 years of severe depression I was walking outside in New Mexico and realized I had a zeal for life. He took it away!! I am in awe when I think about that moment I realized I was no longer under that cloud. He healed me, He is the one true healer. Now His glory will always shine through my story.