A Walk Through Me was written to share my story so I wanted to follow up with explaining each song. So here you go in this blog post I will be explaining Fairytale Life.

Now……. Close your eyes and imagine green hills, farm land for miles and a quaint little white farm house under the bright blue sky. There lived a vivacious little girl. She was a beautiful, blonde haired girl full of spontaneity, curiosity and wonder. Most days you could find her laying in the grass looking up to the clouds pointing out the shapes she could see. She lived in a fairytale land full of green rolling hills and luscious trees full of apples, peaches, and berry bushes. The rows and rows of corn were neatly lined throughout the fields with tall stalks. This land was in a small amish town in the center of Ohio bursted with life and calmness.

Her days were filled with running through the woods playing hide and seek with her brothers. Or she would be taking long walks with her mom and grandma picking black berries. The scariest part of her days were the times her and her brothers would explore the barn and see eyes of cats glowing in dark corners. She loved life. She lived to be the center of things either at church or at home. When she woke up in the morning, till she went to sleep she was trying to entertain those around her. She was born a social butterfly and loved being around people. From the amish in their buggies, to her neighbors who would invite her over when they were canning; she soaked each experience in.

People had a huge part in her life helping her see it from many sides as much as a little girl could. Her mom ended up putting her into an Amish kindergarten early to fill her need for friends and people. It didn’t matter that she couldn’t understand most of what she was learning and the new language she was hearing for this little girl the best part of school was being with other kids. This was me…..As a little girl I saw life from a different light. When I look back at my early childhood it seems fairytale perfect. I call these my innocent years. Living on a farm was slow paced and eventful. I got to experience the milking of cows and the chicken running with its head cut off. There is a beauty about farm life that can not be written about in words; to fully understand it it should be experienced. The peace and tranquility it brings is unfathomable. We got to see where are food came from and learn how it was grown. All the while waking up to the sound of birds chirping and cows mooing. Oddly enough till this day I love the smell of manure. It’s amazing how a smell can bring you back to either good memories or bad. Manure for me always produces good memories.

My family came from a long line of children’s ministers, pastors, choir directors, and elders of the church. You could say I was destined to be a good, God fearing young women. From before I can remember I was in the church. You could find me singing through the microphone or in Sunday school soaking in the stories of the Bible. I fondly remember the cassette tapes we would make for my great grandmother with me preaching to her and closing with a song about Jesus. I believed from an early age that Jesus died for me. That He was my savior and that I was going to go to heaven if I did things right and listened to the ten commandments.

As a family we lived like any normal good Christian family. My grandparents lived nearby and owned a large dairy farm. These were my moms parents and were wonderful God fearing people. Every Sunday after church we went to a friends house for a big scrumptious Sunday dinner. In the eighties people still invited other people over for dinner after church for fellowship and worship; this is uncommon today. We would spend most of our Sundays after church doing this or just taking the day off for rest and play time. Most other days where spent with my grandparents on their farm or walking the hills. My grandma had the most amazing operatic voice. She was once asked to study in New York but she chose to marry my grandpa instead. She never regretted that decision and loved that man with oh so much love. My grandpa worked hard and spent most of his time in the fields or with the cows. He was quite most of the time but so secretly silly.

My other grandparents, from my dad’s side, visited often and were tucked into the hillside of beautiful West Virginia and good Christian people. My grandpa was coal miner with a rough past but who found the Lord in his thirties and later became a Nazarene pastor. My grandma said it like it is was but still exuded her nickname, Love. Now my grandma from my moms side also comes from the same little West Virginia town. This meaning my mom and dad were fourth cousins which we later put together thanks to genealogy websites. I loved my grandfather. Well I loved both sets of grandparents more then they ever knew, but my dad’s dad always made me feel loved and special. He understood me from the beginning. We would sit on his rickety porch swing singing Amazing Grace for hours when we were together. He was rarely unable to make me smile and he put the hill into hillbilly. Moonshine and all my roots are deep within the West Virginia mountains. Till this day I can drive through this town and run into distant cousins or aunts and uncles.

Fairytale Life

“A little girl made to sing, praise and be free

A little girl who had no clue

About a world without you, this was me……”

Everyone from the beginning of time has been searching for something or someone bigger then them. There is a natural pull to this ‘thing’ from birth. A newborn baby comes out crying, needing. Totally helpless the newborn continues to cry until comforted by its mother or father. The baby needs the connection, comfort and sense of attachment. What happens when it doesn’t recieve this love; the child will more then likely have failure to thrive and in extreme cases death is the result. It is obvious that even from birth we need something besides the obvious food, water, clothing, safe place, ect. Even with the basics a child will not continue to thrive without connection. For example take a child who is born to loving parents who come from a stable background and are financially set for life. And then you have a child who was put into an orphanage at birth and sits in thier crib 22 hours of the day never being touched, loved or shown attention. Which child is going to thrive to the fullest in life? Money is not the problem even the most poor people anywhere can give thier children one thing that money can not buy. The main thing we humans need to live is LOVE. So our search from birth is to find this source of life giving love.

This most sought after ‘thing’ can be seen in many cultures. Egyptians search led them to many different gods and goddesses such as Ra, Nut, Seth, and Geb. The gods provided them with the foods, clothing, relationships, everything you can think of the Egyptians had a god for. These gods were made of silver, gold, bronze, wood, paper, a person, a feeling, a sound, really anything you can think of. After the Egyptian gods came, the Indian gods and the gods of China. Again they provided thier followers with a since of being, instruction and self significance if they followed thier gods as instructed. Along with these gods came the demon gods who’s purpose was to frighten obedience to their all powerful gods and goddesses.

Time went on to produce thousands upon thousands of gods of different cultures some of these were; Greek gods, Mayan gods that called for human sacrifices, Hinduism, Buddism, Confucionism, Aztec gods, and Native American gods which are also numerous. Each culture was searching for something bigger them themselves. Someone or something to guide them, help them, make them, know them, understand them, and lead them. Each god that they made filled a purpose in their lives, they helped them feel complete. Do you see that? There was an emptiness from the birth of humanity that these cultures desperately tried to fill with their many gods. Why? Because of the ‘thing’ that was missing.

Today’s gods may look a little different but we are still making the same sacrifices to them. The gods of today are money, sex, drugs, people, feelings, self absorption, places, things, and the list again goes on and on. We reason with ourselves to provide ourselves with excuses as to why we need these things to fill our lives. But still something is missing. Can you honestly say that once you got that new house your felt full? Or once you made a million dollars you felt this hole close up and now felt whole? In my experience the answer is no. That emptiness is still there maybe it is harder to notice but it is still sitting in the bottom of your heart festering, waiting for something, someone. The point is we are all from the time we are born searching for the hole we feel inside to be filled.

Our search for that ‘thing’ that is missing since birth causes us to seek out anything that fills that missing thing or hole in our being. It is hard to live with the hole in our being because it causes unassuredness, fear, aimlessness, powerlessness, and loneliness. The hole was not always there though. Humanity once had this hole or thing in them filled; only at one point in history though. Once sin entered the world shame, fear, helplessness and the big black hole took the place of the oneness we once had. This wholeness only came from one God, the one true God!

This brings me to the meaning behind the song The Search. Just like all humans I sought after a god. I searched for something to fill that hole or emptiness. My story is important because it is not only my story but I share this story with the one person who walked with me through it all. Its a story that shows struggle, lostness, pride, determination, love, and finally surrender. We all have a story. We all have a path to find the one true answer to that age old questions of who am I, why am I, what’s the point? My story answers these questions and hopefully will provide you with that hope that we all search for from the beginning of our being.

“You are the one I have been searching for….you are the one I need…..”

-RM

Thank you, Thank you to all of you who have listened, purchased and shared our music I am honored and so thrilled!

I was asked yesterday if I was excited to get this album out….I proceeded to say “honestly it just feels like another day”. This is all a bit surreal. Never did I imagine doing this. Sure I wanted to be a singer growing up…what little girl didn’t want that. But never did I think God would call me to write, sing and tell my story to the world. This friend then went on to point out that this day should be celebrated and be marked in the calendar as the day God’s plan became known to the world. This helped me realize something…… the Bible is full of man’s life stories; God called them and wrote through them because He knew we needed to hear their stories.

They are filled with ups, downs and all arounds just like our lives. Sure God could have wrote the whole Bible without using Moses, David, Paul and so on……but He did not. Why? Because without the human side to His word it would be above our heads. Well at least mine…I need to hear how someone failed, how they succeeded, what they did through the guilt, how they turned things around and how their faith carried them through. He knew this and so proceeded to use the men and women of our history to write their (His and their) stories.

(Oh wow I need to dust my van!)

So I celebrate 🎉 this day. I celebrate what God will do through our story…who He will reach and how He will encourage. This is His. A Walk Through Me is so much more than me. So as you listen through the songs and as I continue to add to this blog and give you more meaning to the songs….ask God about your story. How can your story impact someone you know? How can God use you?

If you are reading this let me know…..😆 -Rachel

This album, A Walk Through Me, has been a lifetime in the making but when God called me to write my story I thought sure ok. Never did I think I would be putting it out to the world and as music!?

But here we go…….it releases very soon and I am a bit scared!

(The above picture is a little sneak peek at the cover of the album)

Andrew and I started this project about two years ago….we are total newbies at it but Creative Soul Records, Eric Copeland was awesome enough to take us on and produce my story.

Since this began I have said that being real is my thing, so I want to give you some insights into this story making process…..things I have learned and things we will do different next time around (we have already started album two).

Things I have learned –

* The music business is difficult and very expensive!

* There are so many amazing musicians out there. Everyone of them have their own calling and story to share.

* Not every critique is a criticism (I used to fall apart at feedback, not anymore).

* When God gives you a vision for something, DO IT….what He does with it after you have followed through is His not yours. (Excited to see who our story touches).

* Your first album will only be the beginning….the more you start to do it, love it and produce from there only gets better. (Andrew and I have already come up with more songs to share with the world….).

* People will never have the same passion you have for your music….but that is ok!

* Social media is so flippant….someone may follow you one day and the next they are gone! (Not a fan of social media but it is a great tool to be heard). +++++Anyone out there want to take over my social media for me!?

* Videos are the new thing for being heard…something I need to work on. +++Again anyone want to help with this?

* Finally, photo shoots are a lot less stressful with random silly shots!

IMG_2657

(Above picture- The wonderful Shelia King (https://www.sheilakingphotography.com) puts up with a lot when she photographs me!!!)

 

So there you go so much learned and so much to learn! Artist wise I am not in it for the glory, money (I make $0), or recognition; I do this because I love music, I love Jesus and when those two loves mix WOWSER you have some amazing music and way to reach people for Him!

So world get those earphones ready you are about to experience life in Rachel’s brain…bah ahaha!

-RM

So it has been awhile, forgive me for dropping the ball and not recording this process better throughout the past few months.  It is quite amazing what happens when you start to share your story with the whole world.  The devil is quite good at bombarding you with doubts, fears and what ifs……he is not going to win.

My intent throughout this whole experience is to be real…..

So here we go….after my last blog entry I started to get very apprehensive.  What am I doing? I am almost forty and have no experience beyond the gift God has given me to be doing this! (I need to stop saying this!)  As vocals crept closer to happening I started backing away thinking I can’t do this.  Fear started creeping in!  I tried to hear God and get my groove back but to no avail…  So I went to an amazing women’s retreat thinking finally I will hear something from Him.  But nothing….all I could do was judge.  I sat thinking to myself why did all these women have it so good growing up (complete lie and I totally know this).   Why did I have to get the short end of the stick when it comes to lives and experiences?

Oh the pitiful poor me sin how I utterly loath you!!!!!

When we were leaving the retreat I was searching frantically to come out of it with something God was trying to tell me.  Even waiting for my husband at Starbucks for two hours I was determined to hear Him.  While writing my wise mother about what I had learned and experienced, He broke through or should I say opened my eyes.  Sin (my judgmental spirit) blocked the revelation that I was mourning my past.  I was grieving and had no idea I was.  Working on my story had drudged up so many things I thought I had worked through already, but never truly grieved.

Grieving is a crucial step towards forgiveness, healing and freedom!

With this revelation I proceeded to weep like a baby in a little corner of Starbucks as I waited for my hubby.  But it was such a freeing expression of sorrow.  I could now go into the next phase of A Walk Through Me without the weight of my sin (judging spirit) and realizing it is okay to grieve the loss of a trauma free childhood.  So into the vocal booth I went ready to finish off this part of my story.  I say this part because I have a long life to live and I am not going to put the mic down anytime soon.

As a christian I am not infallible.

As a counselor I know each one of us has our own traumas, issues and weaknesses.   I by no means want to or can judge who had it easier because we all live in a sinful world.

As an artist I will use the gift God has given me to spread true, Him, healing and hope.

A Walk Through Me is my story and I am but one of 6 billion people…my story is mine.  Your story is yours.  Our stories are very important.  Through them God’s glory can be seen.  When you have seen the Lord do amazing things there is no staying quiet.

I will not stay quiet.  I will sing of His love forever!!!

Vocals are done, the album is being mixed and mastered as we speak, and now it is time to spread my story all for His glory!  Stay tuned!!!

 

 

 

I had the honor in serving on the worship team a few weeks ago, one of my most favorite things to do in the whole world actually. I love standing up and watching  everyone sing to the Lord and just worship. There is something about music that gives you a freedom that nothing else could ever compare to.  On with my story….so as we were finishing up our set and it came time to do my solo part of a beautiful hymn which I have sang many times ……I opened my mouth and forgot all the words and how to read them so I  fumbled through my part and pushed on (only my boys noticed 🙂 but Ugh!

1-0 broken body is in the lead!

For those of you that don’t know, and I don’t make this known often, I have POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). A silly little thing that causes me to pass out from blood pressure changes, to have a constant lack of O2 which causes cognitive delays and at times obvious memory loss on simple everyday things like reading or things I once memorized. POTS usually has a parent cause and that is Mast Cell Disease for me. Basically I am allergic to everything and my cells produce way to much histamine causing my body to attack itself with flushing, blood pressure changes, anaphylaxis and a variety of other things.  All that to say my word recognition was gone by the time my solo part came up.   Something I love so much proves to be so difficult.

So why did God call me to tell my story through song? Good question. All I can come up with is that He is doing it for me. He is my strength.   Yes, I can only sing for 20-30 minutes a day before my body doesn’t cooperate anymore leaving me exhausted and needing to put my feet up in the air to get my breath back.  And yes, I ask myself did He call the wrong person to do this along with the other array of questions I seem to sometimes scream out?

But, as I rewrite and iron out all the songs that will encompass my A Walk Through Me album, I am quite speechless. I may not be the strongest, most amazing performer, or even the most wonderful song writer but that is not the intent. The intent is to share my testimony to the other broken people of this world. To give hope to the broken in body, mind and spirit.  Don’t get me wrong I would love if He would heal my body and allow me to be well enough to share this with the masses, but right now I am limited.

…….I wonder if I wasn’t so limited I wouldn’t need His strength, His power and Him as much. If that’s the case I will walk broken bodied till He gives me my new one just so people know it is Him that makes me, moves me and continues to use me.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” -Romans 8:28

“We have no right to judge where we should be put, or to have preconceived notions as to what God is fitting us for. God engineers everything; wherever He puts us, our one great aim is to pour out a whole-hearted devotion to Him in that particular work. “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might.” My Utmost for His Highest, April 23, 773 L”.

As I sat and read this tonight, before I sat down to write this I was thinking, “ok I need to get on my blog and write something so inspirational, amazing, and thoughtful to wrap up this years experience”.  I want so badly to impress those of you who actually read this, so I try really hard to come up with just the right words and structure.

…..But then I read my favorite devotional and well it was a kick in the pants!

Impressing you with my blogging skills (which are lacking) is not what He calls me to do; sharing my story all for His glory is.  So as I refocus from this much needed reminder from God, here is my year in review:

*Brought our daughter home from India (actually that was Oct. 2016)

*Answered His call to start telling my story through music (hence Music by Rachel Moore)

*Experienced rejection beyond what our humanness can understand but I am coming out of it understanding just how much God loves us even though we fight, push and try to keep away from Him.

*Put our kids back in public school after years of homeschooling

*Started feeling  my age creep up by realizing I can no longer take it when my kids put something right up in my face to look at (I can’t see that well that close up anymore).  Many other subtle changes too but I don’t want to all list my almost forty glories on my blog…….

*Survived the first year with five kids which includes now two teenagers!!!! Might I add I am still sane…..most of the time!

*Discovered that I no longer have patience to argue things that are really not important to the grand scheme of life….trying to focus more of His grand scheme instead of the worlds.

There is so much more but I might not have anything else to blog about in the upcoming months if I go on.  So in conclusion this has been an amazing year, one with tears, fears, so much cheer.   I can tell you this I would have never in my wildest imagination ever could have thought He would have called me to sing, let alone share my story through our music.  Never!

I can tell you this that as the year of 2018 creeps up on us I know without a shadow of a doubt I will wholehearted devote my songs to Him…..despite my own doubts, my critiques words, and satan’s unrelenting nagging to just give up!  The Lord has put me here; I will serve Him without fear!!

Let me leave you with this beautiful family New Year’s picture compliments of my brother’s superior shopping skills! Thanks Caleb!

 

One more thing – What will you do this coming year?  Follow the world’s view of success or His plan for you?

We all have them….those things that make us cringe when we think about the possibilities.  What if I get up there and just loose it?  I am totally not the right person for this?  He should have called someone else because I really stink at this type of ministry.   We can come up with a hundred different reasons for not doing something He has called us to do, but when it comes down to it what we are dealing with is fear.  Fear or better yet our own insecurities.

When the Lord called me to this ministry I seriously thought….WHAT!  I am so not the right person.  I make so many mistakes.  I am constantly hoarse or clearing my throat.  I am not even at the point where I can stand and sing without getting weak.  Why in the world would You call me to this!!!!?

Wahhh wahhhh wahhhh!!

Why not?

Doesn’t His word say “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians  4:13)?

This is my story….and His story.  He will get all the glory from this telling of one girl’s story.

 

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing” (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-22).

I don’t know about you but when I read these words I somewhat cringe!  There is a time for everything which means time changes things.  I like to think of myself as very spontaneous; actually before our kids my husband and I once got in the car to go to church and went to Vegas for the weekend instead without anything but the clothes on our backs.  But the spontaneity it takes to ride the endless changes of life are a bit overwhelming at times even for those of us who think we can handle any change.

With Thanksgiving only a couple days away I find myself pondering and looking at what God has given us this year, what He has taken and how I am responding.  Change happens!  With change comes a new normal…. A new normal is scary when it first starts out; either scary good or scary bad but a new normal is scary.   We have a new normal in our house since last year and I can’t begin to tell you how scary it is.  Our kids are all in school, I am now a mother to five, I have started to tell my story to the world, and we have lived in the same place for more then three years.  This is our new normal or season.

Do I miss the comfy season that I once knew? Of course because I knew what I was doing, I was in my comfort zone. Now I am totally out of it and left feeling like a flopping fish out of the water.

 

That is when He whispers very softly “Be still and know that I am God” Proverbs 46:10.  Some of the most simple but most powerful words spoken by Jehovah – Jireh (The Lord our Provider, the see’r and Provider of our needs).  He knows what we need.  He knew that taking me out of my comfort zone into a new normal wouldn’t break me (well not yet :)) but build me at the same time.   I am incredibly thankful for that because with each new normal comes new possibilities of growth, adventure and beauty.  And yes it also comes with pain but beauty can come from so much pain; take childbirth or even gardening.   Inevitably I know that He wants what is best for me, that I do not doubt, but sometimes the process and the new season take time to turn into just plain normal.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Are you in a new normal right now that makes you feel like you are gasping for air?  Or are you waiting?

Being thankful for each season isn’t always easy but the beauty each season brings is well worth it all.

I mentioned in my last post how important it is to me to be real with my music, my story and His calling for me.  Being real in a world of fake cheese, fake hair, fake leather, fake meat, and even fake people; is so important!  Things can be sugar coated, painted over, and fixed to look perfect but underneath it all it is still a mess.  The truth is everyone is a mess!   When I was faking life I thought I was alone.   A few kids later and many mom and baby classes later come to find out; nope there is not one person with it all together.

What good are we doing when we hide our mess?  When we hide the pain, confusion, sorrow and helplessness we are experiencing from others how is that helping them or us?

I have come to find it does not help anyone to keep the hurt inside.  So while writing my songs I tend to spill it all out.  I have found amazing peace and inspiration in doing this.

So do me a favor….if you are reading this spill some of your struggles out in the comments.  Then let God have it.  Amazing things will happen.